things that go __ in the night

I haven’t been sleeping well, have been having dreams about our sneaky vice principal falsely accusing me and wiggling his mustache (exactly what happens in real life, the weasel). I have also been hearing mice. The night before my birthday, I turned on the light at 3am and started hitting mouse-friendly places with my umbrella. I was standing on the bed opposite mine, waiting for the sound of little feet, when I heard the noise. What horrid sort of beast is that? I wondered if I should get something more lethal than an umbrella. I expected to have to deal with ROUS’s. I looked everywhere. I waited silently. I suddenly hit furniture with the umbrella after long periods of inactivity. Nothing – except the noise. In the end, I was just too tired to pursue something that was apparently invisible. I lay down, listening to Kanipa Apa snoring. The sound began again, in earnest. The place must have been seething with them, snorting to each other. Running wild. I fell asleep in a defensive position. In the morning, I suggested we get a cat. “Why do we need a cat?” Apa shouted. “Because we have mice. Big mice.” “Oh, that’s just the neighbor snoring!” She imitated the noise perfectly. Which was really a relief, although it’s a problem that’s much harder to solve than mice.