I get lost again

I can't stop getting lost. The fact is that ever since I've come here, I've only correctly navigated by bus a few times. And that's saying a lot, since I take the bus about 6 - 10 times per week. I get spooked, thinking I've missed my stop, jump off, and proceed to walk for a mile or so. I've probably walked hundreds of extra miles because of this, not that I'd always prefer the bus. Usually I'm better on foot. However, that's only when I'm in a familiar city and it's light outside.

I was locked out of my house in Podstepnoye, so I, being nearly Bohemian, walked around the whole day with my shower stuff, school stuff, etc. I called Ivy, who lives in a nearby village, and she told me to come over to sleep, that she would be home at about 7. So I wandered a bit longer, bought some m&m's, and generally froze. It was very cold that day, and I had decided to wear my light coat instead of my heavy one. ("Why?" even strangers asked all day long. "Because I'm crazy," I would say.) The only reason my body didn't shut down was the m&m's. They were a reason to live. They were also a reason to take my gloves off, which was unfortunate.

Anyway, I stood at the wrong bus stop for a long time, then I walked over to another one and forgot which direction to take it. So I called Ivy again. I got on the bus when it came by 20 minutes later. It had, as usual, 15 seats and 22 people. And there was fantastic ice on all the windows, but it meant that I couldn't see where we were going. It was dark by then. The driver only spoke Russian, and I didn't know the name of my stop in Ivy's village, so I was in trouble to begin with . But I'm a good sport, so I got on and figured everything would be alright. And it was.

The bus didn't stop in the right place, so I walked across an empty field and decided halfway through it that I was in the wrong village. The sky was clear, and the stars and moon so bright they almost hurt. Oк maybe that was the wind. Large, hunched men in black leather jackets were at the street corners. Okay, I thought, I'll call Ivy; if this is the wrong village, I'll just take the 37 back to where I came from. Then I realized - gulp - I'd taken the last bus. I began to envision knocking at a stranger's door and asking for some food and a place to sleep. Whose house looked warmest? I scoped out the little neighborhood. But at the opposite corner of the field there was a store. So I went in and called Ivy again. She told me I was in the right village, but it was a matter of finding her house from where I was.

That's only half of the walking I did, but the rest will be boring. Basically, I could not get un-lost however close I was to salvation. Sad. After what seemed like a week, I was sitting in Babushka Nina's warm house, eating too much and thawing. "Why?" she kept saying. "Why?"